Clipboard
by Kemious
Summary: A compilation of squad for fics. Each chapter is a new adventure. Chapter 7: Zaraki gets his hands on something he shouldn't and it leads to hilarious results
1. The Truth

Disclaimer: Dont own Bleach or much of anything do own a Hana figure so yeah. Been wanting to write something for a while so why not?

He's only ever called his zanpakutō true name once.

_That one time was all it ever took to swear he would never do it a second time._

He's afraid. Everyone knows it, yet they are mistaken. They believe that he fears the blood thirst of Hisagomaru and the crackling destructive power of Akeiro Hisagomaru crying for release. He can barely resist the urge to laugh at their ignorance. The cries for blood are nothing and he has become accustomed to them in fact even appreciates them for their comforting unchanging nature. What he fears it truth behind the illusions of Hisagomaru and Akeiro Hisagomaru. After all they didn't cried for blood , but to be called their true name

Like Ayasegawa Yumichika whose's zanpakutō Ruriiro Kujaku goes by another name. Hisagomaru is not the true name of his own zanpakutō. "Gourd of purity" a bitter laugh is constantly at the back of his throat. Its true name Metsubou Hisagomaru the destruction bring gourd quit the opposite. While Hisagomaru some what lived up to its false name removing afflictions from its victims only to return them back double. Metsubou completely fulfilled his name bring ruin to all who opposed him

He'll never forget the only time he's ever called the blade by its proper name. It had be his final year of the academy and he was forced to spare with other students to see which division he would be assigned to.

The sparring match initially began well enough, even with his moderate ability at swordsman ship he was fairing quite well if not at the same ability level as his opponent. Then in a blink of a moment the sparring match had gone horrendously against him once his opponent had released his shikai. He was beaten mercilessly as Lightening arced wildly and he frantically tried to dodge. Within him for not the first time something burned. A voice called out one that he had heard before. One that he simply ignored because it simply promised nothing but destruction.

"_Do you not wish to win. To prove you are not the weakling they take you for...To pay back this one all the pain that he's ever caused you. To pay back everyone thats ever hurt."_

For the first time he would not refuse the voice calling him, instead he embraced. "Yes" came out his voice firm and strong.

"_Then call my name!!!"_ The voice screeched back in glee, as it would finally be recognized by its owner.

"Doshaburi Mestubou Hisagomaru." Came his shrill cry. The once nameless blade that he held in his hand changed it form to that of a small dagger. Stepping forward his opponent seemed to laugh at the simple fact that his weapon became more of a hindrance. As he aimed to end the match a small whisper escaped Hanatarou's mouth.... "wither". The match was over.

Staring in shock and horror Hanatarou watched as the man before collapsed violently withering in pain as his boils rapidly formed on his body and his skin shriveled up and cried out in anguish. Hisagomaru dropped from his hand as the medics rushed to the poor boys sided. But what perhaps scared him most was the simple fact that he wasn't horrified or shocked about what was happening. Rather that he was enjoying the it all. Hours later he found that the Unohana-taicho had managed to barely save his life and that the other fighter was still recovering

He had been offered the 4th seat in the 5th as Aizen-taich deemed him skilled and wished to help him learn more about his sword. He had refused instead begging Unohana-taicho to take him into the 4th. He no longer wanted to fight and cleanse hollows. He wanted to be like those in the fourth and use his abilities to save lives. She offered him no seat and he had to start at the bottom of the 4th, but that was fine. He didn't care as long as he could save lives and never had to use Mestubou Hisagomaru again. In time he learned to manifest Mestubou Hisagomaru into a much more useful manifestation that of a simple Hisagomaru, who showed shallow traits of his true form.

No it wasnt his zanpakutō abilites or nature that scared him. He had long ago learned that zanpakutō abilities and nature were nothing more than it creator's real soul, a mirror if you will. No what had scares him is not his zanpakutō, but rather his willingness and wanting to destroy all as Aizen had done. Thats the reason why he was unwilling to carry Hisagomaru, along him. The thirst to use his real power was too great.

Author note: On Retro this isn;t my best work. I felt that I could have phrased things a bit better and not have it as shallow and more flowy. The use of Japanese is at best a bastardization transliterate due to the fact I don't know how the hell I can get the proper names for gourd of chaos nor even if I did I wouldn't know the proper way of putting it together English wouldnt cut it for some of the things anyway. I'll probably will rework it after a while. I'm gonna write a Hinamori destroying Hanatarou fic next... maybe something along the lines of wanting to put Yamada thought the same thing she went through. Hinamori like Aizen... Hm awesome....


	2. Mourning

_**Disclaimer: Tite owns Bleach. He should put more Hanatarou in**_

_Hanatarou fighting should have been laughable... it wasn't_

Characters: Hanatarou, Ikkaku, Isane, Mentions of Unohana

Warning: Mention of character death, Characters out of Character,

Words: 919 ( sadly can't call it a drabble if its that large can I")

**A/N:** The 4th is perhaps one of the lesser written about division with the exception of maybe the 1st and the 7th. Well everyone else gets there drabbles and love. Those in the fourth get no love or respect, dispute they should. So being the dutiful person I am I shall take the role of fulfilling this gap. Actually its simply due to my love of Hanatarou and Unohana if there were more fics about the two in any lighting I would be forced to write would I.

"How dare you!" He yelled. He was shaking, literately shaking in anger. The idea that anyone from the fourth, talk less of Hanatarou the infamous loser of the 4th standing up to anyone in the 11th division especially it 4th Harada Daisuke seat seemed laughable.

But fiction tended to be very different form reality. The sight was anything , but hilarious as the hall went silent. The killing intent that leaked from the healer was chilling, causing Daisuke to step back slightly, surprised that the normally timid healer was at all capable of drawing that much Reitusa and killing intent. It disturbed him, but he would not let himself be intimidated by someone from the 4th . No not at all, it simply wouldn't be the way of the eleventh after all.

"Its true." he began haughtily, his voice full of scorn as he continued. "You guys had it easy during the winter war. All you guys did was hid behind, safe and sound , while the rest of us were putting our lives on the line. While we were dying out there you guys were here safe and sound. With a captain like that, its no.."

He never completed his sentence, neither did he see the fist coming, as Hanatarou violently lunged at him. The initial blow was followed by several others in rapid succession. The blows sent him reeling, his mind confused that the small kid in front of him was capable of such powerful hits. He took approximately eight hits before he could finally comprehend that he was being attacked and attempted to defend himself in vain.

While those in those in the 11th were perhaps the Gotei 13's most skilled fighters and those in the fourth were generally its weakest, there were few substitutes for the physical labor endured by the fourth on a daily basis, combined with pure fury. The sight of Hanatarou clawing down on the 11th fourth seataed officer, should have been beyond hilarious. It wasn't. The fight was so one sided that no-one wanted to attempt break it up in fear of being the next victim of the 7th seated officer. Daisuke finally managed to kick Hanatarou off him as and get back on his feet.

Wiping the blood that on his lips off on his sleeves he would admit he was surprised that the kid was so strong, but merely accounted for the injuries as nothing more than being unprepared for the attack. He was ready now. The kid wouldn't lay another finger on him anymore.

Hanatarou charged again, eyes devoid of any emotion other than hatred and for a second time , Daisuke felt a bit afraid of his assailant. Then he was on him once again

"Seventh seat Yamada Hanatarou! Stop!" A powerful voice cut suddenly through the room. He stopped abruptly as his fist mere centimeters from Daisuke's face recognizing the voice as his vice captain. "This is not like you! Do you wish to disgrace the fourth with your actions?." She questioned him. Her voice carried the distinctive tone of authority.

"He insulted her." he protested loudly. Tears almost pouring from his eyes

"Do you think our captain would have been appreciated you fighting amongst ourselves." He voice soften, "She has always said that we are a division of healers, not fighters. We do not cause unnecessary blood shed, but heal it."

Reluctantly Hanatarou roughly stood and walked out of the hall. His eyes no longer orbs of fury, but contained great sadness. Satisfied that Hanatarou had been taken care of she turned her attention to the injured 4th seat.

"I should leave you as you are." She hissed angrily at Daisuke. "But I won't. It is our duty at the fourth to take care of any injured we come across." With that she muttered a simple kido that healed the majority of the injuries that occurred in the short fight. "However I suggest you do not find yourself in the vicinity of of the fourth division anytime soon. And I hear that you insult our company time soon. I can guarantee your injuries will be far worse." She coldly remarked once she was done and walked out.

"Daisuke." The 4th seat instantly turned his head recognizing the voice as Madarame's . "Do you wish to disgrace the 11th."

"I apologize. Madarame-san. I was unprepared for his attack, and I should have never."

For the second time today he was hit roughly before he could finish his sentence. "Idiot." Ikkaku hissed at him. "Your lucky that Yamada got to you first. Your words were a disgrace to the eleventh. "

"Sir?"

"The members of the 4th played the most crucial role in this war. Without them we would had no chance, The worked tiredly day and night to make sure as many of our men as possible survived. They watched as many of their friends and loved ones died in front of them unable to do anything but watch. They risked their lives as they came to the front lines to save the injured. And yet you insult their dead captain, Who lost her life in perhaps the most amazing fight I have ever seen!" Ikkaku was pissed. "If it had been me I would have killed you. Your lucky those in the fourth have restraint."

With that Ikkaku turned his back on his stunned 4th seat.

**Ending note:** Eh some how there are certain parts that don't necessarily flow so well together. At least thats the feeling I got, but then again a writer is often his harshest critic. Initially it was suppose to be Ikkaku or Yumichika that Hanatarou was suppose to fight, but I actually like the two of the them and essentially coped out and used the unknown 4th seat that we never see of the 11th. Plus the two of them are complete and total jackasses so it would be impossible to make them say something like that.

I've always imagined that Hana had a close relationship with Unohana for some strange reason so if he died I believe that he and Isane would be the two worse effected, Isane would be forced to keep herself strong for everyone else's sake, but Hanatarou might just snap if someone sad the wrong thing.

I was initially gonna have Isane do Madarame's rant, but felt it wouldn't be as fitting if someone from the eleventh didn't do it. Hopefully I didn't completely over do it with Hana beating the eleventh's 4th. Even if I did deal with it.

Eh sorry about the first one being slightly depressing if you even wanna call it that. The idea attacked me at 3 in the morning and didn;t leave till I finshed at 4:45, I can almost promise that the next one will be much lighter. Hopefully....


	3. Dangers in the Kitchen

_It was regarded as a biological weapon even Mayuri couldn't replicate_

Characters: Isane, Unohana, mentioning of fourth characters

Warnings: None really other than vice character no one knows about

**A/N: **Back again. Its not that I'm lazy actually that a part of it , but Im in a country where internet and electricty are hard to come by. SOme days they don't have an ounce of electricity so I can't do junk and I have access to a computer like once every two weeks luckily I'm going to be back states side soon I'll be updating a lot more regularily. If you consider that a good thing.

"Miso Ramen" Isane awoke from her nightmare screaming. Breathing heavily the vice-captain held a hand at her chest to steady her breathing. It had been horrible, all she wanted was a simple bowl of ramen, but then it attacked and attempted to do horrible things to her. Shaking her head she rid herself of that thought path as she finally calmed down.

It was a common misinterpretation that she always had nightmares. No despite that fact for the past week she spent every night screaming some flavor of ramen, she did not in fact get nightmares without cause all that often. In fact before she became a shinigami and found herself assigned to the fourth division she had never had a nightmare before. Thought that had changed rather quickly.

The cause of them dream had been fairly easy to discern. Unohana-taicho had made Miso Ramen over a week ago and the pass week all of her dreams had been invaded by Miso Ramen in some way or another.

Now one would not call Unohana's cooking so much as terrible as one would call it life changing (though some would prefer the term life ending) or destructive. Unlike Orhime whose culinary tragedies belied themselves in their appearance. Unohana's gastric nightmares were never as obvious. Looking nothing short of perfection one would never expect the destructive powers in them.

Her cooking had actually cause several problems. Not in the same way that Inoue's cooking caused heart burn and food poisoning. Though it had resulted in that more than once. Her cooking tended to cause adverse psychological effects as well as the physical. It was the cause of all of Isane's nightmares, who had never before ever had a nightmare before taking a bite of one of cupcakes. The sole reason why Imerua who had once been silent, began ranting a lot loud when ever he wrote .It was the reason why Hanatarou was the way he was and the cause of Ukitate's Tuberculous. Whole divisions were crippled when ever she set out gift baskets. Patients spent twice the usual amount of time confined to a hospital be when ever she sent them a gift. A few even suspected that it was what had turned Sosuke Aizen evil.

It was the reason why the former vice-captain had retired. Her heart when out to the previous fourth division's vice captain Seinsouke Yamada. He was indeed a noble soul eating a whole pot of her yakon don.... The poor soul he spent six weeks in the E.R. It was a shame that he retired when he did. She made a cake to celebrate his retirement... He spent another six weeks in the hospital.

The sad thing was everyone refuse to tell her about it. Many had fell victim to her overly warm and happy smile when every the started to mention her cooking. The majority out of the simple fact that they simply completely feared her and what kind of things she'd do to the person that insulted her cooking.

Her mind was dwelling on things that really shouldn't be dwelled into. All this thinking wasn't helping her calm down. Deceding that it be best to get a glass of water. Isane waddled to the 4th division's Kitchen. Eyes widdened when she caught the familiar scent of burning . Running into the kitchen she spotted the familiar outline of her captain standing in front of the stove. She had hoped it was the kitchen on fire, but was several disappointed to catch her captain baking.

"Ah Isane... Another nightmare I see . I couldn't sleep as well so I decided to bake a cake. Would you like a piece." She offered serenely.

No. The nightmares were finally starting to lessen she couldn't risk nightmares about cakes as well.

"Uh..." Isane started. "I would Taicho, but I recently went on a diet." She excused herself.

"I see..." Came the disappointed reply.

A pang of regret hit her . No she had to be strong. The cake was a lie! A wicked thought crossed her mind. "Though I am fairly certain that Yumichika-san would certainly love a piece."

It would serve the pretentious ass right. How dare he say her breast where to big. She was very self concious about them to beg in with.

A smile grace Unohana's lips. "Yes I'm sure he would. As well as his friend Madarame-san. I'm sure Kusanaji-fuku-taicho would love a piece too."

"In fact Taicho.... Why don't you make a enough for the whole 11th division." Isane venture with glee.

"That's a wonderful idea. Perhaps this will make those in the 11th much more receptive to us in the fourth."

Smiling Isane could only nod.

For the next week those in the fourth enjoyed a relavievely peaceful week as many memembers of the eleventh found themselves suffering from a serious case of food poisoning

**Endnote**: I should say something along the lines of wow I'm still alive or I haven't abandoned the fic. If you found that this one and the next fic sucked its because I'm trying to cover one a my weak points. No not humor. Rather fics that aren't completely character based. Its a bit akward for me to write fics that aren't revolving aound a single characters. Give me what ever you can in terms of critcsim and praise. Either or is fine.


	4. Vice of the fourth

_The cause of all problems._

Characters: Just mentioned none focused

Warnings: Alcohol... Should that be a warning

A/N: Eh kinda weak over all , but you get what you pay for. Though I gurantee the next one is gonna go back to my element and is gonna be much betters. Its already done, but I didn't get the chance to to take it on my flash.

Many associated the eleventh division as easily being the worse drunks of the Gotei 13. They were generally loud, obnoxious and violent. Their assortments of drunks were as varied as a bag of skittles had colors. They had the violent, the happy, the depressed, the loving, the general chilled you name it they pretty much had at least one of the generally well known types.

However as bad as they were generally bearable or at the very least easy to deal with. In their inhibited states the majority could easily be knocked out and dragged home. Granted Madarame and Zaraki where completely different cases, but they really got to that state themselves.

No the division to watch out for was the fourth. So much so that an alcohol ban on all the division's members had been put on all its members. It wasn't for fear of the patients or for the well being of the division members. Rather it was for the well being of the Seretei as a whole.

It wasn't that the they couldn't hold their alcohol. No that wasn't it . In fact the all the members had surprisingly high tolerance. Hanatarou had actually drank Rangiku, Iba, and Madarame under the table on after the other in a single night.

You see, they weren't you typical general harmless drunkards. The generally calm, timid if not weak willed medics of the fourth division under go a transformation, that was a dramatic as Bruce Wayne to Batman, Clark Kent to Superman, Peter Parker to Spiderman,and a vast other array of references signifying great changes. Alcohol was a catalyst similar to a Magikarp evolving. Take one weak, wimpy medic, add a drop of alcohol and Boom you get a destructive force of nature unlike any other.

Over a three hundred years ago General Captain made the horrendous of throwing a party and Shunsui made the horrible mistake of spiking the punch bowl. Unohana had more than a couple of drinks. What resulted was the once Gotei 21 dwindling down to 13 as well as the fact there are no longer any nearby mountains surrounding the seretei. To this day Yamatto has refused to ever throw another party.

It wasn't just the captain. Oh no. Unohana had the strange ability to all the destructive drinkers into her division. For some strange reason all the insane dangerous drunks were mysteriously in the fourth division.

Like Yamada Seinsoke is the sole reason why there is a spiritual power limit on all shinigami vice-captain and above when traveling into the human world. When he had a couple of shots of vodka celebrating the birth of his son Hanatarou . The events that occurred afterward were masked as the great earth quake of 1784 that had almost completely leveled Japan.

Isane is to this day banned from entering the 12 division compound, after a couple of celebratory drinks with Kiyone and Rangiku for her vice-captain ship. Imerua is no longer allowed in the men's public baths and entering with in 200 meters from the academy. The the drinking incident with Hanatarou resulted in several vice-captains retiring and additions in the emergency wards. The incidents go on and on. What actually made it worse was the sole fact not a single one could remember any of the events that had occurred the previous night before and continued on like nothing happened.

However it was one occasion that completely sinched it for the fourth. One particular year the eleventh division challenged the fourth to a drinking contest. The fourth won by a small margin, and the Seiretei lost by a large one. The events that occurred afterwards are the reason why the king of the soul society no longer resides in the soul society in addition to the fact that the fourth is in charge of all manual labor and cleaning. That was the last straw. With that a ban was placed on all fourth division memebers preventing them drinking any kinda of alcohol at all. There's not a single bar that will serve any memember of the 4th division. Every liquor store have do not sell signs immortalising the likes of Imerua and Hanatarou. Serving liquor to any fourth division member is a misdeed punishable by death. So while the 11th were a roudy bunch of drunks they had nothing on the fourth, who completely banned from the substance.

EN: Yeah this one isn't my proudest looking back, but its not utter crap it was so much funnier in my head, but I spent far to much time thinking about it then writing it so the ideas meshed and molded and it didn't come out as pure as I'd like. Though If you enjoyed it at all I guess it was good enough. If not tell me what I did wrong. Until next time enjoy


	5. It all started with a little blue dress

_Ishida was going to die_

Characters: Hanatarou, Ishida and Unohana

Warning: Crossdressing( come on …. does that really even need a warning)

Hanatarou was by far not a happy camper. The cause was something that ordinarily wouldn't have cause him any problems. A dress. He had seen many different type, styles and shapes through his life especially when he had gone to the human world.

The dress was something that was to be marveled at. A strapped laced , blue dress made with such expert craftmanship that it could be nothing less than a work of art. An Ishida Uryu original.

The only difference between the ones he had seen over his life time and this particularo one was a minor one at best. All the dresses he had ever seen had been worn by women, girls the female half of the Shinigami/Human population. This one however wasn't . This particular one happened to be on him. Thus his generalize unhappiness. Now despite what many rumors spread about the seiretei about him, he had absolutely no interest in wearing women's clothing.... Okay so maybe had tried on the those high heels once. That was purely out of curiosity and he had only been seven at the time. The urges to wear feminine clothing had died long ago.

Glaring, though it was hardly a glare by any standards more along the lines of an awkward stare that became even more ridiculous by the simple fact he was wearing a dress, at the person responsible Hanatarou let out a pitiful growl of displeasure. Ishida Uryu, oh how he hated the ryoka who was the cause of his pain.

Rolling his eyes Ishida stifle a laugh at Hanatarou's current situation. "Now Yamada-san I know you hate this, but I need you to remain perfectly still so that I can get the dress perfect for Kukichi-san. Your the only one around her height and build."

Holding back another growl Hanatarou let out a soft sigh. If it was for Rukia-san then he could bear the burden and embarrassment.

"Though the dress suits you far better than I ever thought."

He was going to die. Never mind the fact that Ishida had was one of Kurosaki-san's friends he was gonna give him a slow unmerciful death.

Ishida stood unperturbed by the pitiful glare, that looked more like a pout than anything else and found it adorable.

"Ah we're done for the day Yamada-san." The dress instantly came off and was carefully given back to Uryu with as much hatred as Hanatarou could muster. " I thank you for your help. Though tomorrow I'm gonna need your help checking a couple more of the dresses and costumes I made for Kukichi-san. Tell your captain thanks for allowing me to borrow you" Nodding pitifully the dignity less seventh seat left.

Cracking his neck Uryu let of a soft sigh. Truthfully had little use for Hanatarou. He was full capable of making Rukia's dress from scrape from memory alone. Her size and relatively flat chest made it almost impossible to make the dresses to tight and he was to much of a professional to need to preform an altercations.

The outside door slammed shut signally that Hanatarou had completely left the house. Satisfied that the seventh seat was no longer in the vicinity. Ishida pulled a digital camera from its hiding spot behind some stuff animals. Shoving the camera in his pocket, Ishida swiftly exited the house and went in the opposite direct that Hanatarou had gone. Slipping into an alley a few blocks a way the last Quincy announced his presence. Waving the camera in the air

"I've got the goods."

"Good, good, as per our agreement, here!" The figure tossed a package. Opening the package found it to be full of several types of fabric.

"Good ." Tossing the camera at the figure, he waited a moment before commenting. "Your one twisted captain doing this to your seventh seat."

Flicking through the pictures on the screen, Unohana wiped the tiny bit of blood that trickled down her nose. She merrily smiled at him as she popped the memory card out of the camera and pocketed it. He shut up afraid of her divine wrath.

"Same time next week?" He questioned.

She nodded. "Oh but this time can you get him in a nurse's outfit. Its in high demand."

Pausing slightly as if contemplating the thought Ishida hesitated for a moment. "I'll see what I can do." The dress had suited Hanatarou, but the nurse's out fit went perfect in him mind. Damn he wanted to see it himself. By the time he reached home the design was already finished in his mind.

**E/N:** I found the premise of a perverted Unohana amusing. So sue me. I found this one to be much better than the other two. Here's hoping you agree. Besides this was in the making for years. Hanatarou has the most cross dressing pictures around. Dress, cosplay It had to be done. Even though I said this was gonna be a fourth division fic Bank the mass majority focus around Hana. Unohana tends to be little more than a plot device appearing towards the end. Isane actually had one Imerua really hasn't shown up. I guess this gives me focus. The next couple I write will spot light the two of them.


	6. Reflections

_What she sees when she looks at them isn't herself, but something greater_

Characters: Unohana

Warnings: Um... None

Despite what many may believe Unohana did not see her self in her subordinates. She never knew where that rumor had erupted from. Perhaps it was just the general empathy she had for all members of her division, but truthfully she hadn't picked any members because they had resembled her in anyway. Truthfully she could see only few if any attributes that she had in her division remembers. In her youth she was rather impulsive, energetics, obnoxious as well as for lack of a better term violent. Much like the current 11th division's vice captain Kusajishi Yachiru.

It wasn't herself that she saw in her charges. No it was something else. In each of her subordinate she saw a member of her family that no longer existed. In Isane saw the reminisces of her younger brother who had died many centuries ago. A kind boy too kind always taking the worlds problems on his shoulder. Timid constantly crawling into her bed when ever he had a nightmare, but with a sense of justice and loyalty that far exceeded any she a had ever known. That same sense of justice had been result of his death using his body to protect a small child from a Hollow.

In Imerua she saw her mother. She was a strong willed women who always wore her heart on her sleeve. There was no problem that she had that the world didn't instantly know. Despite her flaws she was brilliant and beyond capable. Her death had come soon after younger brothers. There were no physical problems, just a broken heart that had never as she faded away.

She saw her father in Hanatarou. In fact one could say that Hanatarou was carbon copy of the man that had been her father. Clumsy, timid, naive and nervous reckless. Her by all means should have never been a man that she idolized. Yet he was. For underneath it all she knew the most noble and courageous heart lived in him. He was a man that not a soul could think ill about. Always giving everything his best he was sight to be hold and the man that she tried her hardest to emulate.

What she saw in her subordinates were not piece of herself. Rather what she saw in them were the instruments that had shaped her to the person she was today. Her only goal was to guide them in such a way her family had guided her into what she was today.

A/N: feels Subpar to even me.... eh take what you get. I'll write something better next time when its not 3 am. Feed back is always appreciated, no matter how harsh.


	7. A sword that doesn't cut

_And the greast idea ever_

Characters: Zaraki , Iemura , Ogidō mention of Hanatarou

Warnings: Nada.

Imerua stared with mild interest and amusement as yet another 11th division member flew through air. Beside him eight seat Harunobu Ogidō watched the chaos unfold with him. It was Zaraki's weekly skirmish which always resulted in ten percent of the 11th division being hospitalized. Despite even Unohana's best efforts she was unable to keep the eleventh division's captain from hospitalizing a large percentile of his squad members on a whim.

Finally giving up she mandated that at least two members of the fourth division watch the event in hopes of having the medics reduce the injury rate. Normally Imerua would be lamentation the occasion out loud as he wrote in his diary. Not today. For you see today was different today they had finally found the solution to their plight.

"Ogidō. Your a genius." Imerua smiled taking great pleasure as he watched yet another member of the11th bounce of the ground.

"Hm.. For once we both agree on something." the 8th let out pridefully fully enjoying the carnage below.

The solution had been simple rather too simple. The problem laid in the simple fact that Zaraki had a sword. This sword of his could cut people. Cut people badly. Now the answer laid in simply taking Zaraki's sword from him. However there was not a soul stupid enough to even try to steal Zaraki's sword for fear of the consequences. Rather than take away the sword Ogidō had a brilliant idea why not give the 11th division's captain a sword that didn't cut people.

In theory this concept should have been easier said then done. Swords were tools of death a sword that didn't cut most likely didn't exist. Even Zaraki's worn out blunt Zanpkuto could easily slice through anything with the kinda spiritual energy he had. Fortunately the answer came flying to him.

No literally Hisagamarou had been speeding towards him and impaled him. Fortunately the blade while hurt like hell had no negative consequences and the wound instantly healed. Somewhere in Imeura's rant did Ogido come up with the suggestion having Zaraki use the blade when ever he wanted to practice

"Say Ogido, why does the does that read line keep filling?"

"I don't know." He shrugged. And then area was filled with a brightly.

Moment later Imerua managed to dig himself out of the rubble that was once the 11th division. "Ogido."

"What?"

"You're a dumbass." was all he muttered before passing out.


End file.
